I wasn't there for my wife when she went into labor with our son. I missed her struggles, which were so strenuous and painful they caused her to vomit. She was with her mother throughout the majority of the process (thank God she was with loved ones!) and during delivery, put on display for student doctors. I wasn't even able to be there when she was first recovering. That sacred moment between mother and child where non-verbal communication is at its most potent is irreplaceable.
What I didn't moment was a moment of absolute love when I got to hold my son in my arms for the first time. I felt as though that spot was the center of the Universe, like I could reach up into Heaven. My sweet boy! Everything about him was completely vulnerable. I wanted to make sure that I didn't hurt him, but I was edified greatly by holding him.
My belief then as it is now, is simple: it's not that there is ever enough room in your heart for the child that you don't have. When I held him, my heart grew inside me. It was possible to accommodate even more love, dedicate my life to another person totally and completely. It was beautiful and terrible all at once. As special as it was for us to be two, being three became natural. Then when my daughter came along, the four of us were natural. The heart grows to make room for those who are in it. Every positive relationship is more goodness spread and more love for you to give.
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